Dear Randy

[diVeFR]

Time your eye blinking with the light. Close your eye when the light comes on and open it when it is off. Soon you will develope the proper cadence and you will never know the light is blinking.

As far as the air goes we need to know what time of the year it is. You may be running summer air in your tires still and it is now about time to start using winter air. Don't forget that now is the time you want to start using a de-icer in your headlights too.

Thanks Randy!!!!! I changed to winter air and now the bike runs great. As far a timeing the blinking I got white mans disease and I gots no rythm. Now my windsheild wipers on the bike are stuck. Any solutions?

[34468 Randy]

Thanks Randy!!!!! I changed to winter air and now the bike runs great. As far a timeing the blinking I got white mans disease and I gots no rythm. Now my windsheild wipers on the bike are stuck. Any solutions?

You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...That's what its all about..

This is indeed a problem for some pigmentally challenged people but it can be overcome. Like the "Sup" term. The term often being followed by "Ho" or "Biches". Not originating with pale faced community but readily adopted. And look at Disco. Whities fared not too bad there either. And don't forget, this is a two way street. Basketball originated on some honkey's farm in Ontario Canada but was embraced and mastered by our well toned brotheren. So practice. Your rythem should improve. Hire a hooker to help you with this.

As far as the windshild wipers go, take the windshield off. I mean..what the f%&k purpose does that serve anyways.

[Knife]

She needs to obtain my private number. Try slamming yours in a door repeatedly. Eventually the end may fall off. You made no mention of whether you have been circumcised or not

Dear Randy:

I wanted to get back to you after following your advice. The end of my dick did indeed fall off after slamming it repeatedly in the door. It took a while, though, and it wasn't very pleasant as you can imagine. It bled profusely, then turned green and puss filled, then turned black, then got all crispy, and finally just flaked off. So it did work. Unfortunately, it was only temporary, as it began to grow back again immediately.

I went to the doctor and had several tests done. At my last meeting with the doctor he told me he had some good news and some bad news. I opted to hear the good news first.

My doc said the good news is that my member is growing at the phenominal rate of 1" per month! I said that was wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news, I asked him? Well, it's malignant.

Now I have another question for you. Where do you live and what time do you get home at night? Just asking.

Sincerely,

No Dick Johnson

[SilverSurfer800]

Scumbag Internet Dealers (SIDS) are a reall problem for sure. Different ways of dealing with them have been discussed everywhere. Your friend should be aware that a double barreled shot gun only has two rounds. A better option would be a Remington 12 ga Pump with the plug removed. Or this....aa12 machine shotgun - Google Videos

But, Is this really a friend, or is it your issue? If it is you...then I have to ask. Where's your friggen head at?

Thank you for your expert advise! Fortunately this situation does not involve me or my bike. You are wise Obi Wan, very wise!

[Pliskin]

(^^^^That was the funnies thing I read all day. You need help, Knife).

[34468 Randy]

Dear Randy:


Now I have another question for you. Where do you live and what time do you get home at night? Just asking.

Sincerely,

No Dick Johnson

Southwest Coast Canada and home usually between 02:30 and 03:30

[Joey_Dude]

Dear Randy,

How do you deal with "vegetarians" who do not tolerate cruelty to animals but will eat eggs, fish, and pudding?

Politically incorrect in Georgia

[34468 Randy]

(^^^^That was the funnies thing I read all day. You need help, Knife).

Big 10-4 0n that oen. I just about had an accident

[34468 Randy]

Dear Randy,

How do you deal with "vegetarians" who do not tolerate cruelty to animals but will eat eggs, fish, and pudding?

Politically incorrect in Georgia

We must understand we are all a bit different. Some are big some are small. Some are church going some not. Some are LEO's, others get their asses kicked. You understand that I am sure.

We must me accepting and tolerant of others ways of life. Offer to take him out for dinner as a gesture of good will. Offer to pay. Buy him a very expensive steak dinner. If he decides not to eat the beef, give him the garnish and you eat the steak.

He will make real good compost when he dies.

[TOE CUTTER]

As an aging man I have had concerns that the day may come that I can no longer satisfy my wife........How do you deal with it?

Sincerely John Cocktoasten

[spid6813]

Dear Randy,

Is it difficult being you?? I mean being surrounded by lesser humans all the time?? And, How can you be so freakin' funny? Bologna in your shoes?



SPID

[Joey_Dude]

He will make real good compost when he dies.

[34468 Randy]

As an aging man I have had concerns that the day may come that I can no longer satisfy my wife........How do you deal with it?

Sincerely John Cocktoasten

Long hatin on rednecks

Have her give me a call.

[34468 Randy]

Dear Randy,

Is it difficult being you?? I mean being surrounded by lesser humans all the time?? And, How can you be so freakin' funny? Bologna in your shoes?



SPID

You should address each challenge in life with a goal to succeed. This will give you direction for at least a period of time. I have a very long road ahead of me and have no idea where the destinatin is.

I am never lost, just exploring alternative destinations.

The most difficult thing about being me is the road always changes direction and it is not marked on the map.

[jasonsmith]

Randy...? If your helping everyone else then who's going to help you?

[34468 Randy]

Randy...? If your helping everyone else then who's going to help you?

Dr Phil.jpg

I have pills

[Cyborg]

Dear Randy,
I'm trying to figure out which is more painful:

A) Figuring out why federal level politicians do not spontaneously combust in the presence of any Lie Detector
B) Pounding a circus tent spike into concrete with my forehead
C) touch my toes

Help?

[TOE CUTTER]

Is it true the Canadian $1 coin is called a Loonie and it is named after you?

[34468 Randy]

Dear Randy,
I'm trying to figure out which is more painful:

A) Figuring out why federal level politicians do not spontaneously combust in the presence of any Lie Detector
B) Pounding a circus tent spike into concrete with my forehead
C) touch my toes

Help?

Not all federal level politicians lie. I don't and I am the Presidential Prime Minister. But then I am not really a politician. UFRR is a dictatorship. That aside, politicians are known to have a unique lime green matter mixed in with the grey matter that fools polygraph instuments. The polygraph is more likely to short circuit than to detect something wrong with a politician. Polygraph required someone to have guilt.

Pounding a circus tent peg into concrete with one's head would only hurt if one's head was normal. This may be why you may feel lesser pain that what might be suspected.

I have no difficulty what so ever touching your toes so I don't know what to say about that. Who the fuck you think I am...Forrest Gump?

Most pianful experience may just be trying to answer your question. You should consider cutting a fine line of blow and get on with your life. No one really cares anyways.

[Knife]

...You should consider cutting a fine line of blow and get on with your life. No one really cares anyways.

[34468 Randy]

Is it true the Canadian $1 coin is called a Loonie and it is named after you?

Truth of the matter is that it was once thought the Loonie got its name from the bird on the coin. While that may be a semi romantic notion, the Loonie represents what happens to an otherwise normal person after he has tried to explain the ways of the real world to many people who choose to live in the northern part of California. These people. we call them Calegonian people, are not really the beach bums assiciated with Californians. They seem to fall somewhere in the middle of that and the Gun Tot'n Oregonians who have a tenancy to hate all police, and surf around on internet sites geared towards VFR motorcycles, yet they may not have one themsleves.

Now I think I have answered your dumb ass question but just what is your problem anyways? You appear to be a frustrated man. here is special help.

Dr Ruth.jpg

[Mark 024]

No questions for you Randy - Thanks for the laughs everyone

[02 VFR Rider]

Who are you? Wait. Refer back to my reply to you about your wife and kids bugging you in the garage. I would make sure it was not one of them who knocked you in the head. If it was then stroke them.

Tools are not something to stroke. Any good man would not abuse his tools in this fashion. Tools should be used for their intended purpose, then cleaned up and put away ready to use the next time something arises. However, if you find you must handle your tools, they should be gently caressed, being sure not to handle them in such a fashion that their finish is worn off.

Dear Randy,
After reading your reply and thinking about it, it all came back to me.
I put down the plastic sheet, added insulation to better sound proof the garage, then started working on my bike again.
A few minutes later the wife and kids came back to ask when is supper, I drew my gun but the wife was faster, as I stood w/ my jaw dropped my son hit me over the head with a hammer.
How do I plot my revenge???? as it seems my reflexes are not as fast, as I am not a young man anymore.

[Scubalong]

Long hatin on rednecks

Have her give me a call.

I am just about to refer him to that thread
Randy you are a wise man

[Scubalong]

Randy...? If your helping everyone else then who's going to help you?

Jason, That is a goooood question

[realnew]

its hurts when i pee what can i do to stop the pain

[fredsncoma]

Dear Randy,

When I sneeze a little bit of pee comes out. Is this something I should be concerned about or just start wearing underwear?

[Joey_Dude]

Dear Randy,

I can't seem to break my addiction to this thread, how can I finally get control? I can only call in sick so many days.

Addicted to Dear Randy in Georgia

[cebuVFR]

Dear Randy,

How can a midget ride a vfr?

[Badbilly]

Dear Randy,

Are you really randy or a libido?