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Thread: Dear Randy

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    Dear Randy

    Dear Randy Readers,

    Dare I go where no one else has gone on this site. Send me your problems and I will try to give you sound advise. Especially juicy renditions of your issues may require advise from someone more qualified such as Ann Landers or cousin Abby

    Randy
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    Oh no Randy got the Drewl syndrom.................hahaha

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    There's this girl at work but I'm just a little too scared to make a move on her. She seems like she has some issues with guys but deep down I think she just needs some reassurance that not all men are pigs.

    So, one day I finally got the nerve and asked her if she wanted some lunch. To my surprise she said yes and we went to some nice place and had some laughs. Then as we were walking out the restaurant she said that the chain on the bike looks real pretty in gold. After looking at it the chain just seems too loose, how tight should it be?

    Confused about chains in Georgia

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    Huh...? Joey you need to see a shrink

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    Dear Randy,

    I've got this pimple on my butt,and I....uh....

    Aw nevermind......


    Remember,you're not braking til your rear wheel's lifting,until then you're just slowing down.

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    Dear Randy,

    I seem to spend most of my time being confused about everything. It seems to be particularly bad when I am awake. Can you help?

    Confused in California

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    Dear Randy,

    My low fuel indicator is blinking and my front tire is about 5 psi low on my bike. Oh me, oh my, What in ever should I do????
    Skill comes from diligence

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joey_Dude View Post
    There's this girl at work but I'm just a little too scared to make a move on her. She seems like she has some issues with guys but deep down I think she just needs some reassurance that not all men are pigs.

    So, one day I finally got the nerve and asked her if she wanted some lunch. To my surprise she said yes and we went to some nice place and had some laughs. Then as we were walking out the restaurant she said that the chain on the bike looks real pretty in gold. After looking at it the chain just seems too loose, how tight should it be?

    Confused about chains in Georgia
    Make another date with this girl seem as you enjoyed her company in the first place. You should be sure to ask her if she was born a he or she cause you never know these days. If it really doesn't matter to you don't ask as it might hurt feelings.

    The tension of the chain should be tightened such that the slack is similar to the size of what a reasonable person might expect certain appendages on your body to be. Gold chains are pretty to be sure, but you may wish to consider fuchsia which is becoming the up and coming color for todays biking men,
    Last edited by 34468 Randy; 10-27-2009 at 11:45 AM.
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by stoshmonster View Post
    Dear Randy,

    I've got this pimple on my butt,and I....uh....

    Aw nevermind......


    Many believe that the appearance of pimples are a result of consuming improper food too often. Some pimples are really a rash from rubbing too hard. You need to decide what the cause of your pimple is first before we can deal with the removal of said pimple
    Last edited by 34468 Randy; 10-27-2009 at 11:47 AM.
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lgn001 View Post
    Dear Randy,

    I seem to spend most of my time being confused about everything. It seems to be particularly bad when I am awake. Can you help?

    Confused in California
    A confused state of mind is often mistaken for ectreme intoxication brought on by the ingestion of copious quantities of cheap booze. Switch to Highland Park 18 year old Single Malt Scotch and savor each sip. You will consume much less and be thinking clearly sooned. Oh. And stop sucking on those doobies made from BC Bud
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by diVeFR View Post
    Dear Randy,

    My low fuel indicator is blinking and my front tire is about 5 psi low on my bike. Oh me, oh my, What in ever should I do????
    Time your eye blinking with the light. Close your eye when the light comes on and open it when it is off. Soon you will develope the proper cadence and you will never know the light is blinking.

    As far as the air goes we need to know what time of the year it is. You may be running summer air in your tires still and it is now about time to start using winter air. Don't forget that now is the time you want to start using a de-icer in your headlights too.
    Randy
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    Dear Randy,

    I was working on my bike the other nite and was adjusting the valves and lost the finnagin pin on the v-tec side - is it ok to ozzle gloop it instead of getting a new finnagin pin??
    Proud Member - Sixth Gen Militia - 1st VTEC Battalion


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    Quote Originally Posted by 02 VFR Rider View Post
    Dear Randy,

    I was working on my bike the other nite and was adjusting the valves and lost the finnagin pin on the v-tec side - is it ok to ozzle gloop it instead of getting a new finnagin pin??
    Just add a bit of Slick 50 and drive it. If it doesn't stop you will probably be OK. If the engine stops. Take it to someone who is not a stupid as you. I didn't mean to suggest that being stupid is neccessarily a bad thing. Without stupid people, us bright people would not have anyone to compare ourselves with
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34468 Randy View Post
    Just add a bit of Slick 50 and drive it. If it doesn't stop you will probably be OK. If the engine stops. Take it to someone who is not a stupid as you. I didn't mean to suggest that being stupid is neccessarily a bad thing. Without stupid people, us bright people would not have anyone to compare ourselves with
    thank you for you fast reply.
    another problem is now my wife and kids are in the garage bugging me - can I shoot them??
    Proud Member - Sixth Gen Militia - 1st VTEC Battalion


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    Dear Randy:

    I just met a fabulous girl I would like to start dating. But I heard through the grapevine that she will only go out with guys that have a 9" pecker. Would it be wise for me to have surgery to remove several inches just to have a chance with her, or should I just move on and look elsewhere?

    Sincerely,

    Big Dick Johnson
    "We're becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." - Clint Eastwood (2009)

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    Quote Originally Posted by 02 VFR Rider View Post
    thank you for you fast reply.
    another problem is now my wife and kids are in the garage bugging me - can I shoot them??
    It is important to either muzzle the firearm or add sound-proofing insulation in the garage. Use a calibre that will do the job but not expend too much of that stinky smell int the air. Spread plastic on floor first.
    Last edited by 34468 Randy; 10-27-2009 at 11:51 AM.
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scubalong View Post
    Oh no Randy got the Drewl syndrom.................hahaha
    Muuuuwaaaahahahahahaahahaaaaaa!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knife View Post
    Dear Randy:

    I just met a fabulous girl I would like to start dating. But I heard through the grapevine that she will only go out with guys that have a 9" pecker. Would it be wise for me to have surgery to remove several inches just to have a chance with her, or should I just move on and look elsewhere?

    Sincerely,

    Big Dick Johnson
    She needs to obtain my private number. Try slamming yours in a door repeatedly. Eventually the end may fall off. You made no mention of whether you have been circumcised or not
    Randy
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    Lmao

    You guys so hillarious.


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    Damn, Randy, you do seem to have a knack for this. You may not have to keep your day job much longer!

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    Since you were a Leo in a past life, maybe you can answer this one.

    Please describe how to commit the perfect crime.
    _____________________________________________
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    All I say is by way of discourse, and nothing by way of advice. I should not speak so boldly if it were my due to be believed......Montaigne

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    OMG, How cool I think this thread needs it's own section to go too. . Good one.

    Now for me, it's to late Randy
    Awe. the best way to get around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lgn001 View Post
    Damn, Randy, you do seem to have a knack for this. You may not have to keep your day job much longer!
    You appear to be suffering from SDS. (Small Dick Syndrom) Presently there is no known cure so you are left with what you have. But if you exercise you imagination sufficiently, and buy a big truck, no one may ever know. Good Luck Lng001
    Randy
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    Dear Randy,

    I have a friend who is having a problem with an exhaust system he purchased from a bunch of scumbag internet dealers. They try to blame him for everything instead of standing behind the products they sell. Is visiting them with a double barreled sawed off shotgun considered too harsh?
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  28. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by vfourbear View Post
    Since you were a Leo in a past life, maybe you can answer this one.

    Please describe how to commit the perfect crime.
    No crime is perfect. What is perfect, is getting paid for investigating those issues. It is important that a good investigator weighs all evidence he becomes aware of. This takes many hours discussing with your peers at Tim Horton's shops. If you are not inclined to pour over these hours of information, you would be wise to consider a profession as a Petroleum Transfer Engineer for one of the larger Oil companies. I do hope this will assist you in deciding your career path. Now f$&k off
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by RVFR View Post
    OMG, How cool I think this thread needs it's own section to go too. . Good one.

    Now for me, it's to late Randy
    See my answer to committing the perfect crime. Bambie Murderer
    Randy
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilverSurfer800 View Post
    Dear Randy,

    I have a friend who is having a problem with an exhaust system he purchased from a bunch of scumbag internet dealers. They try to blame him for everything instead of standing behind the products they sell. Is visiting them with a double barreled sawed off shotgun considered too harsh?
    Scumbag Internet Dealers (SIDS) are a reall problem for sure. Different ways of dealing with them have been discussed everywhere. Your friend should be aware that a double barreled shot gun only has two rounds. A better option would be a Remington 12 ga Pump with the plug removed. Or this....aa12 machine shotgun - Google Videos

    But, Is this really a friend, or is it your issue? If it is you...then I have to ask. Where's your friggen head at?
    Randy
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  31. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scubalong View Post
    You guys so hillarious.

    You have a problem known in the industry as Giggle Butt. Try using chop sticks and eating a bowl filled with 1/4 pound of sweet baby peas once a day. Do this for 10 days and you will stop laughing.
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    Dear Randy,
    I was working on my house the other day and hit myself in the head. do'h
    In the few minutes I was out it came to me that I should stroke something, the problem is I can't remember what I was to stroke - motor in my bike or my tool??
    can you help me to remember??
    Proud Member - Sixth Gen Militia - 1st VTEC Battalion


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  33. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by 02 VFR Rider View Post
    Dear Randy,
    I was working on my house the other day and hit myself in the head. do'h
    In the few minutes I was out it came to me that I should stroke something, the problem is I can't remember what I was to stroke - motor in my bike or my tool??
    can you help me to remember??
    Who are you? Wait. Refer back to my reply to you about your wife and kids bugging you in the garage. I would make sure it was not one of them who knocked you in the head. If it was then stroke them.

    Tools are not something to stroke. Any good man would not abuse his tools in this fashion. Tools should be used for their intended purpose, then cleaned up and put away ready to use the next time something arises. However, if you find you must handle your tools, they should be gently caressed, being sure not to handle them in such a fashion that their finish is worn off.

    Randy
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