You Know You're Getting Old When:

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    You guys crack me up
     
  2. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Craig who. Is he a member here?
     
  3. Big_Jim59

    Big_Jim59 Member

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    That's COOL! I have taken to shaving my ears in the morning.
     
  4. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Plucking that one black hair you have not only because it is black, but it is on the edge of your earlobe! Worse yet, your red bulbious nose.
     
  5. Keager

    Keager Member

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    "A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

    He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

    The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

    "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

    The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-shittin' me!"
    The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “
     
  6. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    You know you're getting old when you post a real funny on the wrong thread! Lint. Do you have a full time care giver. If so, kick the bastard in the shins to wake him up.
     
  7. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    When happy hour is a nap.
     
  8. Keager

    Keager Member

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    I suppose i should download the tap a talk app. Might get to the correct thread.
     
  9. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
     
  10. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
     
  11. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Or when you are not napping, it is happy hour!
     
  12. GreyVF750F

    GreyVF750F Member

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    You fart dust..........
     
  13. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Uh oh I just sharted
     
  14. Big_Jim59

    Big_Jim59 Member

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    . . .I only thought it was dust!
     
  15. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    You know you're getting old when unwrapping a gift and finding a colouring book is exciting again.
     
  16. Big_Jim59

    Big_Jim59 Member

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    They are pretty cool.

    One Christmas we bought nothing but those Nerf guns for everyone. (we were all adults) There were packages of Nerf ammunition too but Mom and I already had our supply ready and unwrapped. We ran all over the house ambushing each other, scrambling for fallen rounds and finding out your ally one minute would shoot you in the back the next. It was so much fun.
     
  17. sunofwolf

    sunofwolf New Member

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    I just got a toaster oven for a present- I think , I am going to be sick:tclaw:
     
  18. Jeff_Barrett

    Jeff_Barrett Member

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    That's hilarious!

    I just picked up a metric shit tonne of those guns and darts for exactly this purpose! LOL!

    We just had a nerf war at the office on Friday like this as well.
     
  19. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    You guys are just so fucking violent. No wonder this world is going to shit with you nerfies running around shoot'n up everything and everyone.

    Me. I gave this total stranger a flower the other day. Fucking guy punched me straight in the face. He probably was carrying a concealed nerf gun too.
     
  20. Jeff_Barrett

    Jeff_Barrett Member

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    I carry a concealed love gun at all times .... it only shoots blanks these days.
     
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