Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
  2. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

    The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

    The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."
     
    Gator, Lint and duccmann like this.
  3. BWeiss

    BWeiss Johnny Partseed

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,584
    Likes Received:
    128
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Location:
    Rancho Cordova, Ca
    Map
    A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife.

    They carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $40 jar of face Cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."

    That's him, there in Aisle 5.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2017
    Samuel likes this.
  5. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
  6. duccmann

    duccmann Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2010
    Messages:
    9,214
    Likes Received:
    910
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    SoCal
    Map
    97 hand jobs, hope someone has workers comp for that wrist


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    Lint likes this.
  7. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    Maybe I should retire yet once again and start a new career path. This one seems much more satisfying don't you think?
     
    duccmann and Lint like this.
  8. BWeiss

    BWeiss Johnny Partseed

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,584
    Likes Received:
    128
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Location:
    Rancho Cordova, Ca
    Map
  9. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
    [​IMG]
     
    Samuel likes this.
  10. cat0020

    cat0020 Trumper

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Messages:
    508
    Likes Received:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Location:
    Between Phila. PA & Brooklyn, NY.
    Map
    [​IMG]

    Best hot dog in town? or you've had worse?
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
    DOD likes this.
  11. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???
     
  12. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    That certainly gives new meaning to Special Sauce now doesn't it? Did she put ketchup on the dog to hide something?
     
  13. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    You know that little thing you j=have in the back of your head that stops you from saying things you shouldn't say. yeah. Well. I got rid of mine.
     
  14. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
  15. cat0020

    cat0020 Trumper

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Messages:
    508
    Likes Received:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Location:
    Between Phila. PA & Brooklyn, NY.
    Map
    At least she checked it for pubs before serving it..
     
    Lint likes this.
  16. Nelix

    Nelix New Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2016
    Messages:
    776
    Likes Received:
    154
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location:
    Paisley
    Map
    Hope she washed her hands before handling that.
     
    Gator likes this.
  17. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    I am sure glad my wife does not visit this site!. I would never hear the end of this seeing is was me who started this thread. Keep them cumming....er coming.
     
  18. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
  19. Lint

    Lint Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2012
    Messages:
    4,805
    Likes Received:
    950
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Simi Valley, Ca.
    Map
    "Waiter, my hotdog smells like fish"
     
  20. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,741
    Likes Received:
    1,557
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    Hey girl. Your snatch smells like a hot dog!
     
    Lint likes this.
Related Topics

Share This Page