Humor Thread

when my son in law asked me I just said, "How much money do you have in the bank. Write me a cheque."

 

Dear God,

You gave me childhood, and you took it away.
You gave me youth. You took that away.
You gave me a wife. It. Its been years now. I'm...I'm just...reminding you.

 

A man died after falling 8 floors from the roof top nightclub atop Chilliwack's tallest building. Police say he was not the bouncer.

 

What do you call a Nunn in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.

 

The great white north is not far behind. I like at least three scoops of ice cream on mine. Better with four. And covered with caramel and chocolate syrup and sprinkles.

 

That'l getcha!

 

"Ain't that the truth."

"What was that? You have a pain in the tooth? Go see a dentist!"

"I don't need the dents fixed. It's the wife's car."

"How did she get a scar?"

 

We see tons of that crap here too. Always someone else to blame for one's shortcomings.