Humor Thread

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better.

"I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting.

"In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

"Out of habit, he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.

"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

 

I really like that one.

 

WOW....good one Lint

 

East Coast.....get ready.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcNrh8FL3vE

 

From my friends attic

 

See even the blue hairs have that Harley fuck you attitude. ....

 

British Police have arrested 3 of 4 well known Islamic terrorists: Bin Snortin. Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin, unfortunaty there was no sign of Bin Workin..

 

For those that have been on the site a while...now even Slick 50 is supercharged!

 

Unsure if it qualifys as Humor but a Headline like " Exploding human Excrement destroys building " isn't one seen every day.

" A cesspool filled with excrement exploded in a central Chinese city, injuring 15 residents and toppling a building on Saturday, police said.

Police in Zhangjiajie city, Hunan Province, believed it was an accident when a man surnamed Ding was burning waste outside his derelict house and near the cesspool at about 5 p.m..

Police said the fire ignited the methane emanated from the pit and caused the blast. The house has been abandoned since 2006.

The blast occurred at Dayongqiao community of Yongding District. One residential building collapsed, and four others were damaged. "

http://www.china.org.cn/china/2014-11/24/content_34131824.htm

 

Did Anyone post that Ebola joke yet?


Never mind, you won't get it. I don't post here enough.

 

Those effers in Furguson!!! I really cant beleive this is happening. How dare they get a jump on the Black Friday deals!!!! Eff that! Im gonna go to Walmart and see if they are going to do a price match!


What???? Too soon????


Sent from my iPad using Using my thumbs

 

lol...wow! Nice one diVeFR!

 

My plans for this holiday weekend? I'm going to the local Walmart parking lot and leaving notes on all the windshields of cars parked there, "Sorry for the damage." the sitting back to watch the owners looking for it.

 

Awe now that's just mean Randy. Funny........... But mean. LOL

 

Its an illness. I can't help it.

 

I told my wife I wouldn't buy any more bikes.

 

Sounds exciting, a bit like Russian roulette. :biggrin-new:

What with all the CCTVs and proximity triggered wide angled twin lensed dashcams on cars these days someones bound to Upload you to Youtube for Grins or demand you repair previously unnoticed damage to their car.

 

http://corvallis.craigslist.org/mcy/4765631824.html

 

Would be much funnier if there was a drop of ink leaking from it