Humor Thread

Love it..........

 

A man rolled his motorcyle up next to a little girl walking home from school and said, “If you get on, I’ll give you a lollipop.”
The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said “Come on and get on the bike with me and I’ll give you two lolly pops.”
She kept her eyes on the footpath and continued on her way.
The man said “Get on the bike with me and I’ll give you this whole bag of lollipops!”
Finally, the girl turned and said “Look daddy, YOU bought the Harley, YOU ride it home yourself!”

 

What are they drinking down there?

[FONT=VERDANA, HELVETICA]Bolivar, 24, was arrested in Midland, Texas, in November, accused of threatening a woman at knifepoint because (according to the police report) she would not "smell his arm pit." [Midland Reporter-Telegram, 11-18-2015]

[/FONT][FONT=VERDANA, HELVETICA]Is that with Marinara?

[/FONT][FONT=VERDANA, HELVETICA] Readers' Choice: Massachusetts became perhaps America's most religiously advanced state in November when its Registry of Motor Vehicles implicitly granted official recognition to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (whose adherents believe, generally, that hard evidence of God's existence is no stronger than that of FSM's existence). Ms. Lindsay Miller of Lowell proudly displayed her driver's license, whose photo is of Ms. Miller wearing a metal colander on her head -- since a "religious" head covering is the only type permitted in official ID photos. (FSM'ers are known as "Pastafarians.") (As News of the Weird has reported, the Czech Republic issued at least one official "colander" ID in 2013, and in January 2014, Pastafarian Christopher Schaeffer took his seat on the Town Council of Pomfret, New York, decked out in his finest colander-ware.) [Associated Press via KRON-TV (San Francisco), 11-13-2015] [/FONT]
Here's a job for Randy

[FONT=VERDANA, HELVETICA]Professional patients now help train would-be doctors, especially in the most delicate and dreaded of exams (gynecological and prostate), where a becalming technique improves outcomes. One "teaching associate" of Eastern Virginia Medical School told The Washington Post in September that the helpers act as "enthusiastic surgical dummies" to 65 medical colleges, guiding rookie fingers through the trainer's own private parts. The prostate associate might helpfully caution, "No need for speed here," especially since he will be bending over for as many as nine probings a day. A gynecological teaching associate, mentoring the nervous speculum-wielder, might wittily congratulate pupils on having a front-row sight line the "GTA" will never witness: an up-close view of her own cervix. [Washington Post, 9-3-2015] [/FONT]


I love ya Randy......................

 

LMAO...Love the case of beer and vodka. ...HALLERIOUS

 

I don't understand. Firs of all, that beer is getting warm. Secondly, it's shit beer. Tben again, Costco ....

 

Had a off brand Costco beer last Sunday, tasted like piss I suppose, never drank piss so maybe SOW can chimp in on that subject

 

I'll just leave this here. http://www.dose.com/parents/24603/D...2&tse_id=INF_61ae5d78375e4f8db3b3e78aa1112c45

 

WAY TO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS BRO........bet this guy makes a fortune off the redDICKulous creation

 

Wasn't me, thank Facebook for that beauty. Never in my wildest dreams would I have even thought to look that up!

 

Woo thank God for that

 

I was walking around Home Depot yesterday when I came across three Muslim women in full robes.
I thought to myself I should make an effort to try and talk to them to better understand their culture and
ask why the Islamic religion is causing murder and mayhem across the world.

I tried talking to them for five minutes ... but I got absolutely no response. Not a single sound!




In total disgust I was about to launch into a mouthful of verbal abuse when I realized I was talking
to three patio umbrellas ...

 

LMFAO.....very good one
Jim

 

Because and can....and eff you...thats why...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLQUy6g40SQ

 

I wanna see a toenail clipper powered by that.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IlqH-2n6eE

 

Riding 2 up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsWvmGL1Yoc

 

But there on a Hog......
:-(