Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. VFR4Lee

    VFR4Lee Member

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    LOL. The first one I remember in my lifetime.
     
  2. dbuzz77

    dbuzz77 New Member

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  3. dbuzz77

    dbuzz77 New Member

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  4. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  5. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    It snowed last night...
    8:00 am: I made a snowman.
    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
    8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
    8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
    8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
    8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
    8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
    8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
    9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
    9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
    By noon it all melted
    Moral:
    There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
     
  6. Samuel

    Samuel Member

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    Or you're at the $#%*ing airport! :mad:
    lol
     
  7. Samuel

    Samuel Member

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    Word!

    re: 8:40 - if you leave BS issues alone long enough, they tend to work themselves out, one way or another... haha
     
  8. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

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  9. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  10. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

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    CF02019D-AD1A-47A2-9FE9-651E7B36E709.gif
     
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  11. Gator

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    2 idiots meet on the road........... wtf
     
  12. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  13. VFR4Lee

    VFR4Lee Member

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    LOL.
    Being sent to anger management would tick me off too. :homer:
     
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  14. Samuel

    Samuel Member

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    Especially if you're being sent by the ahole that's making you mad in the first place! lol
     
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  15. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    I DON'T HAVE A FUKKING ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM ! ASSHOLE !
     
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  16. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  17. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned asked if he was being breast fed or bottle fed.

    "Breast fed." she replied.

    "Well. Strip down to your waist." the doctor ordered.

    She did. The doctor pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed he said "No wonder the baby is underweight, you don't have any milk."

    "I know." she said. "I am his grandmother. But I'm glad I came!"
     
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  18. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

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    BD36D3A8-0C73-469F-BFC9-9DB4E60C1923.jpeg
     
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  19. fink

    fink Member

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  20. dbuzz77

    dbuzz77 New Member

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