Humor Thread

is that for Randy?

 

Oh common now. Get real would you? I want the white one. Besides. I would just toss him a bottle of water from my stash.

 

Yeah, that stuff gets everywhere!

 

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.

"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

 

Meanwhile in a country far away

 

Now that is super funny, she is on the Ducati and he is on a little scooter!
What is he doing with all those rubber bands anyway?

 

Life is like a fart. If you have to force it, it is probably just shit.

 

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the elementary school?

Its OK. He woke up