Humor Thread

Goddam, what a tool.

 

Could not live without it!

 

True, but I can never find it when I need it!

 

I keep one in my pocket?

 

I sent out and bought one of those 813 piece sets several years ago. Metric and Imperial. In a nice fold open case which many people have collected dozens of and stored them away in their attic because they look cool. Well I usually take the tools out and toss those cases in the recycling. But this set. I cut it along that sill assed hinge that always breaks, and stacked the two in one of the drawers in my tool chest. When I am finished with a project, often a few times during the process, I put all my tools away. If there is a piece missing I look harder. If I don't find it, I go out and buy what ever socket that is missing. After all. If I go to bed at night knowing one of the spaces in the tool chest is vacant, that's it. No fucking sleep that night and every night there after until I either find the damned thing, or have a brand new piece replace it. So Ends result is this. I am never missing the 10mm socket. One day I will have about 15 of them. I will then try to sell them on FB Market Place.

 

Have you every heard of that new movie, "Constipation"? Oh! I guess it hasn't come out yet.

 

I once was dating a person who had a twin. I was always asked, how did I tell them apart. I had the same answer for every one. Mary? Well she had the sweetest pussy you could imagine. And get this, Bob's pekker was huge!

 

Fortunately I have a 10mm deep socket too, easer to find.

Glad to see we are back to normal, if you can call it that!

 

That's odd. I never knew I was abnormal. I am happier now. I think

 

A newlywed called her mother and says, "on my wedding night I discovered that John only had one foot!".

Her mother replies, "Count yourself lucky. You father only has four inches."

 

A fact. 70% of the earths surface is water. None of that water is carbonated. This further proves that the earth is flat. So flat landers. Whatcha got to say about that?

 

Humor is humor. Going through life sensitive by other's words is a very hard life.

 

Political "humor" was used as a way to justify copying and pasting "facts" that has repeatedly been shown to highlight the divisiveness so prevalent today and rip apart why I, and it seems most, come here in the first place.

Does anybody remember the "New & Improved Political Thread"?

Now that was a fucking joke.