Humor Thread

Goddam, what a tool.

 

Could not live without it!

 

True, but I can never find it when I need it!

 

I keep one in my pocket?

 

I sent out and bought one of those 813 piece sets several years ago. Metric and Imperial. In a nice fold open case which many people have collected dozens of and stored them away in their attic because they look cool. Well I usually take the tools out and toss those cases in the recycling. But this set. I cut it along that sill assed hinge that always breaks, and stacked the two in one of the drawers in my tool chest. When I am finished with a project, often a few times during the process, I put all my tools away. If there is a piece missing I look harder. If I don't find it, I go out and buy what ever socket that is missing. After all. If I go to bed at night knowing one of the spaces in the tool chest is vacant, that's it. No fucking sleep that night and every night there after until I either find the damned thing, or have a brand new piece replace it. So Ends result is this. I am never missing the 10mm socket. One day I will have about 15 of them. I will then try to sell them on FB Market Place.

 

Have you every heard of that new movie, "Constipation"? Oh! I guess it hasn't come out yet.

 

I once was dating a person who had a twin. I was always asked, how did I tell them apart. I had the same answer for every one. Mary? Well she had the sweetest pussy you could imagine. And get this, Bob's pekker was huge!

 

Fortunately I have a 10mm deep socket too, easer to find.

Glad to see we are back to normal, if you can call it that!

 

That's odd. I never knew I was abnormal. I am happier now. I think

 

A newlywed called her mother and says, "on my wedding night I discovered that John only had one foot!".

Her mother replies, "Count yourself lucky. You father only has four inches."

 

A fact. 70% of the earths surface is water. None of that water is carbonated. This further proves that the earth is flat. So flat landers. Whatcha got to say about that?

 

Humor is humor. Going through life sensitive by other's words is a very hard life.

 

Political "humor" was used as a way to justify copying and pasting "facts" that has repeatedly been shown to highlight the divisiveness so prevalent today and rip apart why I, and it seems most, come here in the first place.

Does anybody remember the "New & Improved Political Thread"?

Now that was a fucking joke.

 

VFRWorld Members,

Do you often find yourself thinking, "I love my V4 sport bike. I love taking pictures of it and talking about it and looking at other V4s, but I feel the experience needs unrelated current events."?

You know, just the other day, a VFR rider came up to me, a big strong VFR rider, tears in his eyes, he said, "Mr. Captain 80s, a place just about V4 sportbikes isn't enough."

Well, I have a big announcement! There is the most perfect FaceBook Page being created that can greatly capture the synergy of VFRs & Hot Topics.
People, many people, are already talking, they're saying it is probably the most perfect FB Page ever created. Probably even My Space. Probably even in the history of The Internet.

But it needs one more thing. A great name. The perfect Farkle. These are the front runners:

"Gear Drivel Cams"
"Post-detonation"
"Fuel * Compression * Spark * BANG!"
"Oil and Coolant"
"True Facts & Ass Cracks"
"What could go wrong?"
"Bleach & Ammonia"
"This Seems Fine"
"Dual Combined Bull Shit"
"Copy & Paste"
"Johnny gets to do it"
"Corroded Ground"
"PISS System"
"Single Sided Sling Blade"
"PAIR-Shaped"
"Truth Snorkel and Lip Flapper"

So, keep your eyes peeled for the bigly launch! Go away and meet local Heroes!