Humor Thread

A little light don't you think considering what is out there today?

 

I'd go with a 10mm...I mean it's a wrench, not a socket so I'm not gonna lose it, right?

 

The British Football fans were leaving these stuck everywhere they've been

 

I've seen them at baseball games and other places. They are having a blast! One guy was interviewed at a Braves game and, iirc, he was asked how they were handling the heat. He said they were staying well hydrated, but not with water. lol

 

Barny and Fred worked at a saw mill. Barny was working a bit too close to the saw blade when Wham!, his arm was cut off. Fred quickly grabbed the arm, put it in a plastic bag and rushed them both to the local ER.
The next day, Fred was walking through a nearby park and there was Barny, playing tennis. "Is is amazing. New medical technology being what it is allows you to recover and play tennis.
A couple weeks later Barny and Fred were at work at the saw mill again and Barny again got too close to the blade. Wham, there goes his right leg. Fred quickly grabbed the leg, put it into a plastic bag and rushed them both to the nearby ER.
The next day, sure enough, Fred was walking through the park and there was Barny, playing rugby. "Once again. new medical technology has come to your rescue and you can play rugby. Amazing".
A couple weeks later again, Fred and Barny were working at the saw mill. Barny managed to get his head where it should not have been and off goes his head. Fred gathered up Barny and his head and rushed them to the ER.
The next day, Fred was walking through the park. No Barny. The day after, still no Barny. The third day. Still no Barny. So, Fred went to that ER and asked about his friend Barny. A nurse spoke with him. "Yes. He was brought in here a few days ago. But the idiot who brought him had put his head in a plastic bag. Barny suffocated."

 

I keep remembering my dad's last word to my mom years ago just before he died.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"