I just found, on line, a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems". I ordered two.
My neighbour is a former dairy farmer. He suggested I put cow manure on my strawberries. I will try anything for good tasty strawberries so I...
I am at a stage where my mind still thinks I am 29, my humour is like it was when I was 12, while my body keeps asking me if I am sure I'm not...
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy “I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!” He climbs up the...
Where and how did you get a picture of my brother?
I THINK I MIGHT BE EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED. I HAVEN'T GIVEN A SHIT IN DAYS!
Or when you have forgotten all about it unless it is brought up. Trust me. You forget things a lot when you get up into your 70's
WTF is a phone book?
Is this you Cap? Its a good thing I didn't run into guys like this when I was still working the streets. I would have to take two profile photos...
You know you were dealt a very bad hand of cards when you walk into a wall with a hard on, and break your nose first.
You know you're getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My wife caught me sucking in my stomach while standing on the scale. That’s not gonna help!” She said laughing. Actually, it does it’s the only...
Barny and Fred worked at a saw mill. Barny was working a bit too close to the saw blade when Wham!, his arm was cut off. Fred quickly grabbed the...
Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fifth one I've been to that says Insufficient Funds.
You know you're getting old when you can stay up to dark if you take a late afternoon nap. And still fight nodding off watching the dinner time news.
You know you're getting old when you say to your son, "Gawd! Your beard is getting really grey now isn't it?"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the elementary school? Its OK. He woke up
Life is like a fart. If you have to force it, it is probably just shit.
Oh common now. Get real would you? I want the white one. Besides. I would just toss him a bottle of water from my stash.
This morning my son's teacher asked him why he brought his cat to school. My son, while visibly emotional, responded, "I heard my dad tell my mom,...
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