Why all the fighting?

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by Nungboy, Mar 27, 2009.

  1. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Ok, I finally have to start a thread on this...why are there so many examples of "fighting" on so many Forums? There is relatively little on this Forum but it still is evident here at times. There is quite a bit more on the other VFR Forum, even more on the Triumph 675 Forum, and still more on the various other Sport bike Forums (often times, researching topics or bikes takes you to many other Forums). Some are downright viscious. Now, when the thread topic is politics I get it...people are polarized and they are apt to get uppity and take personal offense at things. And when it is a bike thread and someone really IS a jerk I understand a testy or smart a** reply. But when it is a normal topic about our bikes and someone starts flaming someone for a fairly innocent post, I just don't get it. It isn't just bikers either...I read and post on many Forums like music Forums and other hardware Forums and see examples of aggression everywhere. (My favorite example is the YES forum which by and large is filled with really groovy and humanistic folks...but they can get sooooo mean and nasty!) The easy answer is that humans are polarized and there "is one in every crowd" but I just don't think it is that simple. I have seen some of the, how shall we say, "frank and opiniated" members on this Forum be very gentle and understanding and I have seen normally friendly, laid-back posters get ugly. The genesis of this thread came from reading a VTEC thread on the other VFR Forum this morning. Some guy was really "bent" (hint) about a very laid back reply and wanted "to take it outside..." Come on! It is amazing to me that folks have so much excess energy and want to pound someone over a simple (relatively meaningless) issue. Don't you have a gym to go to or some grass to mow?
    Now I understand that I am a Buddhist-leaning kind of guy, can get along with almost anyone and so I am on the extreme side of "why can't we just get along" side. But you see, I am VERY opiniated. Very! But I don't take offense when you dislike VTEC or don't agree with whether I don't listen to music when I ride...what IS the deal with the mean and nasty stuff?
    Opinions please...
     
  2. Longerfellow

    Longerfellow New Member

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    The internet allows immaturity to run wild. Would you really challenge a stranger on your computer to go to blows over something that was typed by someone who doesn't even know you. No. I don't believe a thinking person would waste the time participating.
    Hmm, maybe we're not all thinking persons.
     
  3. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Yes, I think the annonymity of the Web is a big part of that. We all feel pretty tough when no one nows where to find us!

    I have also always noticed that humans are paradoxically more likely to fight with someone that is really similar to us...so much of the time we are fine with people and cultures that are very different from us but we are likely to fight with someone who is so similar to us because there is one tiny little difference that gets us really upset.
    Humans are fickle I guess...
     
  4. 02 VFR Rider

    02 VFR Rider New Member

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    Human nature the " I'm better then you " syndrome as I like to call it or H.I.C.S.
    head in cement syndrome.
    All you got to do is click on the news to see how we kill and beat each other, therefore I would expect it to run wild online as well.
    I must admit that we do rib each other on this site ( in the chatbox ) and that the ribbing can be seen as fighting to someone outside looking in, but believe at the end of the day it is all in good fun.

    I am new here and must say I am hooked on the site and I log on everyday to talk and joke w/ people I have never personally met in person, they have bashed me both on chatbox and in my " cheap power gains thread " But I did expect it and did not take any of if personaly.

    So I guess part of it could be how much one does read into what is posted.

    Your thoughts??
     
  5. Comicus

    Comicus New Member

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    That's because being an a$$hole is proportional to the sportiness of the bike you ride. So guys on pure sport bikes are all complete dicks; while we ride sport/touring bikes...so we are only 50% a$$holes.:cheersaf:
     
  6. CrazyInNYC

    CrazyInNYC New Member

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    In addition to anonymity, I think it's also due to interpretation of written text. When you lose inflection and body language, it's much harder to determine intent. I remember some stat about 70% of emails are misconstrued from their intention.
     
  7. vfrcapn

    vfrcapn Member

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    All valid points, but I do think the other forum is pretty strictly controlled, offensive posts are deleted without warning typically. Which is ok with me, I take that site for what it is which is a narrow discussion of VFR's and bikes.

    Ever read the reader comments posted on news sites? It seems every web site is allowing readers to blog/comment on articles and so much of it is inane flaming, arguing, name calling, etc. I've given up even reading any of them.

    The anonymity of the web would seem to be the main culprit. When making a comment I imagine the person in front of me and only write what I'd be willing to say to them face to face. It's amazing how much more civil your comments become. Thanks for the topic.
     
  8. RVFR

    RVFR Member

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    Winter time brings out the best..

    tThe one I don't get is the one where someone is selling an item and there's a flame on "are you crazy to ask that much" FCOL if you're not in a spot to purchase at said price then move on. I get that time and time on craigslist, it's my shit and my value, get over it.
     
  9. Comicus

    Comicus New Member

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    This is the STUPIDEST thread ever! Nungboy all your opinions mean crap...only mine matter!!! dumb a$$...:biggrin:
     
  10. SilverSurferRWB

    SilverSurferRWB Member

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    The fighting and cross words are common to male dominated social communities. The male of most species are aggressive and competitive; its in our nature. We couldn't change it even if we wanted to. Now some people have learned to control it while others can use it to their advantage. Some people start threads to "push other people's buttons" because they know a certain person will respond. *cough* Unless you want a world of Vulcan's suppressing emotions and being annalitical about everything :yawn: enjoy the differences people have, poke fun and take a joke once in a while. Some people just need to enjoy life and not take everything so seriously.
     
  11. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Yes..good points. I do know that sometimes the offense is in the eye of the reade; as you say, sometimes people misunderstand the meaning...sometimes seeing humor as an actual attack or sometimes people just have a chip on their shoulder and they are just waiting for someone to say the smallest thing that they will then jump on. (And CrazyinNYC has a very valid point...without eye contact, body language and tone of voice it is easy to misinterpret the written word. That is why the emoticons are helpful so that you can be sure the reader KNOWS if it is a humorous attempt.)
    But, my emphasis here is on the blatant mean-spirited posters...the ones that really are being jerks over small items.
     
  12. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    A great one, Comicus! :thumbsup:
    I laughed out loud!
     
  13. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Very vaild new points there...I do hate when the Vulcan thing is done. For example, being so politically correct that you fear disagreeing or stating your true belief. Interesting and stimulating conversation rarely comes from mindless agreement. In this society, we seem to vacilate between banal politically correct non-conversations and out-and-out fighting over realatively insignificant points. I seek the middle ground of stimulating conversations where the participants are secure enough to stand-up and intelligently discuss something and perhaps even learn something new...what a concept!

    Thanks for all the replies, kids!
     
  14. SilverSurferRWB

    SilverSurferRWB Member

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    This statement makes me want to kick your a$$! j/k! :pound: :lol: :pound:
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009
  15. H.C.D.

    H.C.D. New Member

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    I learned long ago that human beings aren't wholy predictable or rational. I've seen people who were normally very reasonable, rational, and easy going do some totally off-the-wall-crazy-makes-no-sense kind of things. Including yours-truly... :redface:

    And, of course, we DO have a large number of people running around these days who are simply just adzholes, idiots, fukheads, etc. Never were taught how to control or conduct themselves in a halfway decent manner and are very often as crazy as bugsht :crazy:. I just try to stay away from those folks, they're just not worth being associated with.

    And I'll +1 the comment about the anonymity of the internet enabling people to make idle threats. When they come insult me to my face I'll take them seriously. We all know that hardly ever happens.

    Regards,
    H.C.D.
     
  16. Knife

    Knife Member

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    Hey, Nungboy! Go f*ck yourself and the horse you rode in on. You're only entitled to my opinion, not yours. Your ideas and thoughts don't mean jack sh*t. And your momma is a wh*re, too.

    (Heeheehee. Is this the type of raucus inane banter you're talking about?)
     
  17. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Hey! If you guys (you too SilverSurfer!) keep making me burst out in laughter I am going get in trouble here at work!! :wink:
     
  18. derstuka

    derstuka Lord of the Wankers Staff Member

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    You already know the answer to this Senor Nung. I have a hard time believing that the answer is not obvious to you based upon what you see around you each day, watch on TV, read in history books, etc... It has nothing to do with the internet or computers.....it is part of human nature (mostly because of testosterone) to argue, to fight, to kill one another over the stupidest of things/reasons. You have seen (well read at least) all about the wars throughout history. One war, after another after another....it is in our blood to fight, to kill, and to do it over and over. This will continue forever. People fighting/killing each other over women, cars, parking spots, because of a "look" etc... In general, I have little faith in humanity as a whole...however, there are some good folks in the bunch. It is just that so many people act just like sheep and have the same mentality of a sheep. Most people do not think one or two steps down their actions to what the consequences of their actions might be. Look at road rage....a person many times would have no problem injuring or killing you if what you did pissed them off enough. Human life means very little in the heat of the moment. Sadly, for many folks it is only later on as a person cools down from their anger that they realize what they did was wrong.

    Oh, and although men are much more aggressive, I believe it would be naive to think that women are not commiting more and more crimes, as well as being more aggressive each day. The flower lady down the road from me got robbed by two women about 2 months ago, and I personally saw another chick as a getaway driver from a purse snatch. Ladies are laying the smack down.... :xxx:

    On a side note, I really wish that all newspapers would disable user commentary. I do not read it on purpose but if my eyes happen to slip down to the comments, they are always negative and abusive probably 95% of the time.
     
  19. ewryly

    ewryly New Member

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    I think there is a lot of truth to the insight that you cannot be disrespected unless you disrespect yourself first. So if I am comfortable with what I ride (my taste in music, etc.) then if someone comes along, especially if it is someone I don't know, and disses my bike, I am not going to take his comments personally. If I I am uncertain of my choice adn worried that I may not have made a good one, then I am more likely to get defensive. They can't bother me unless I see them as in some degree plausible and I am uncertain of myself. Anger and fear are very hard to separate.

    I think this is in part behind Nungboy's observation that we are more likely to be upset by someone who is more like us because in those cases it is harder to dismiss the other person's claim. We are, for instance, more likely to laugh at a Harley rider telling us his bike is the best versus an earlier or later gen vfr rider telling us his or her bike is the best.

    So the paradox is that the louder, more bullying, vitriolic response hides a real insecurity and probably a lot of fear.
     
  20. Nungboy

    Nungboy New Member

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    Thanks Dive Bomber...to quote Shakespeare:
    "Well spoke, Puck!"

    Yes, Stuka, I am a student of human nature and all that you say is (unfortunately) accurate. That there are some people who see these consistencies in human nature give me some small hope that we will as a society start to try to control that aggression.

    We all add to the momentum of life...either for the good or the bad...think before your act.

    Ok, back to our regularly scheduled program: Godzilla versus the VFR.
     
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