Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. Maggot

    Maggot New Member

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    If you lived in the US Obama Care might cover it!
     
  2. diVeFR

    diVeFR New Member

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    ImageUploadedByTapatalk1417054234.748472.jpg

    Hahahahahaahaaa!!!!


    Sent from my iPad using Using my thumbs
     
  3. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    I try to stay away from US politics and religion......Guess that covers just about everything American huh. JK

    (Huh is American for Eh!)
     
  4. BWeiss

    BWeiss Johnny Partseed

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    you forgot about guns, eh?
     
  5. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    No politics or religion here brothas...it's an argument waiting to happen. Lets stick to what we're here for
     
  6. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Nothing more political down there than guns. When are you going to expose your avatar's tits Duc?
     
  7. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Funny you should ask..tried logging on my home computer and it freeking wont let me log in to change my avitar...just have try on my Iphone or maybe Jev can help...oh lord...maybe soon...
     
  8. GreyVF750F

    GreyVF750F Member

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    1 Life is sexually transmitted.

    2 The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    3 Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
     
  9. Lint

    Lint Member

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    When we found the story, it had been posted without an author's name, but we did a little digging and found that Reddit user bigbadwolf69 is the original author.

    She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

    She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.

    "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.... "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"

    The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."

    She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

    The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15," he said solemnly.

    Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

    "Yes, I do" she replies.

    The husband pauses....... The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

    "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

    The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?'"

    "I remember that, too" she replied softly...

    He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."
     
  10. FJ12rydertoo

    FJ12rydertoo Member

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    An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Aussie were sitting around talking about women, and what made them tick.

    The Englishman said "I serve my wife tea and crumpets in bed and polish her toenails while she supps, and she is so happy."

    The Frenchman said "I sprinkle rose petals on my sweetheart while she lies naked in bed, and then slowly removes them with my tongue, and it makes her ecstatic."

    The Aussie said "After we have sex I wipe my willie on the bedroom curtains, and it drives her wild."
     
  11. GreyVF750F

    GreyVF750F Member

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    I took my son out for his first drink. We went to our local bar and I started him off with a Bud Light. He didn't care for it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Corona . He didn't like that either, so I drank it too. Same with Killians and Guinness Stout. By the time we finished sampling whiskeys, I could barely push his stroller home!
     
  12. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    10686890_10152885722064800_7186478722747211605_n.jpg

    Best of the Season to you all. Christmas Season that is.
     
  13. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    You as well Randy, my drinkin season. ..got nothin else to do, what the hell......Cheers
     
  14. mofo

    mofo New Member

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    Two poems.

    Woman's poem:
    Before I lay me down to sleep
    I pray for a man who's not a creep
    One who's handsome, smart and strong
    One who loves to listen long
    One who thinks before he speaks
    One who'll call, not wait for weeks
    I pray he's rich and self-employed
    And when I spend wont be annoyed
    Pull out my chair and hold my hand
    Massage my feet and help me stand
    Oh, send a king to make me a queen
    A man who loves to cook and clean
    I pray this man will love no other
    And relish visits with my mother.

    Man's poem:
    I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac
    With big tits who owns a bar and a golf course
    And loves to send me drinking and riding
    This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
     
  15. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    Good one Mofo...hey, you own that golf course right?
     
  16. mofo

    mofo New Member

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    Lol. Golf is for pussies, real men go to the track.
     
  17. duccmann

    duccmann Member

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    There ya go..shit might as well watch paint dry
     
  18. Lint

    Lint Member

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    Do you know what happened 164 years ago this Fall... back in 1850?...... California became a state. The people had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically, nothing has changed except the women had real boobs and the men didn't hold hands.
     
  19. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Oh Ya? Well I will just come on over there and whack your balls with a piece of metal. See if you make it 18 rounds after that fella.
     
  20. wagzhp

    wagzhp New Member

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    Randy, I'm no golfer but I'm pretty sure you have been incorrectly taught how to play . :biggrin-new:
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2014
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