Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. zombie

    zombie New Member

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    lol, and that's why I'm not a Doctor.....
     
  2. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    Yah....LOL. I recently had an itchy discharge in my ear for real lately. Sure relieved I did not go to that doc. My gawd! Who knows what he may have done to me.
     
  3. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    On a rainy afternoon, a group of protesters were gathered outside a grocery store handing out pamphlets on the "evils" of America. I politely declined to take one.

    There was an elderly woman behind me and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her
    a pamphlet, which she politely declined.

    The young protester gently put her hand on the old woman's shoulder, and, in a patronizing voice said, "Don't you care about the children of Iraq?"

    The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam. All three died so a naive, ignorant, self-centered bimbo like you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country, and if you touch me again, I'll shove this umbrella up your ass and open it."

    GOD BLESS SENIORS.
     
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  4. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  5. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  6. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  7. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    An American from the LA area of California was up in Canada in Newfoundland watching some divers from a whaler near the dock in St. John's NFLD. He asked on of the divers, "Why do you Newfi divers always fall backwards out of the boat?"

    The Newfi replied, "Lard tunderin jesus bye. If he fall forwerd, he would still be in the fookin boat now wun't he?"
     
  8. duccmann

    duccmann Insider

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    Have a great day


    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  9. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

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    DA53E66B-30E9-4E0B-9E9F-226ABAC38000.jpeg
     
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  10. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  11. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  12. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    My ex wife's life is best described as three wild animals. Lion. Ass. Chaeta.
     
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  13. duccmann

    duccmann Insider

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    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  14. VFR4Lee

    VFR4Lee Member

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    As well she should be. :Pound:
     
  15. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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    You just know you gonna have a bad day when your Uber driver is being followed by the cops and you hear him mutter, "I ain't go'n back to prison."
     
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  16. Thumbs

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  17. Doug7200

    Doug7200 New Member

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  18. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

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  19. BWeiss

    BWeiss Johnny Partseed

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    I wish these were the cyclists I got stuck behind...

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2019 at 10:44 AM
  20. Doug7200

    Doug7200 New Member

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    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
    The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
    "Yes, Father, it is."
    "And who was the girl you were with?"
    "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
    "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
    "I cannot say."
    "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
    "I'll never tell."
    "Was it Nina Capelli?"
    "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
    "Was it Cathy Piriano?"
    "My lips are sealed."
    "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
    "Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
    The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
    "Four months vacation and five good leads..."
     
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