Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
    B6673CFE-AF8C-4DE9-B782-FBA4DB45AC91.jpeg 3B5D90D6-81DB-40B5-A3A7-548823EF5676.jpeg 05E993A4-DB60-455D-B015-8BD4A767994B.jpeg 2F7232A1-595E-4F95-8BA4-E3AB159BABE4.jpeg 4990E942-7826-491D-8FD5-87FE0CA10259.jpeg D3C77B89-242E-4E73-BA22-2AE709D9D245.gif
     
    fink likes this.
  2. fink

    fink Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2013
    Messages:
    1,578
    Likes Received:
    454
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Ardnamurchan Penninsula, Scotland
    Map
    FB_IMG_1604880150297.jpg
     
    Thumbs and VFR4Lee like this.
  3. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
  4. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,412
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    A 10 year old girl asks her mum, "Mummy. How was I born?"

    The mother smiles and replied "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy planted it in the earth and I looked after it every day. After a while, the seed started to grow and sprouted leaves. It grew more and more every day and developed little branches. In a few months it developed into a healthy beautiful plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and we got so high, we forgot to use a condom."

    This story is so touching, it brought a tear to my eye.
     
    Gator, VFR4Lee and Samuel like this.
  5. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,412
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
    Lovers help each other undress before sex.
    However after sex, they always dress on their own.
    Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
    SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
    When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
    But none of them touches the man's penis and says, "Good job".
    Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.
    FIVE OTHER SIMPLE TRUTHS:
    1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than on a bicycle.
    2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
    4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.
    BONUS TRUTH:
    Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
     
  6. VFR4Lee

    VFR4Lee Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2016
    Messages:
    1,081
    Likes Received:
    521
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Reseda / LA
    Map
    And the women send photos of the basketball belly.
    That does not mean we want to see dick pics. :homer:
     
  7. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
    20C0B553-8160-478B-872B-CFE9B64E0158.jpeg
     
    duccmann likes this.
  8. Waylander

    Waylander New Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2020
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location:
    Waltham Abbey, Essex, UK
    Map
    [​IMG]


    VF1000F2F, in bits
     
    duccmann, Thumbs and Samuel like this.
  9. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
  10. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,412
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
  11. Waylander

    Waylander New Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2020
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location:
    Waltham Abbey, Essex, UK
    Map
    [​IMG]


    VF1000F2F, in bits
     
    Boomtank and duccmann like this.
  12. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
  13. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,412
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
  14. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
  15. Waylander

    Waylander New Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2020
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    114
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location:
    Waltham Abbey, Essex, UK
    Map
    [​IMG]


    VF1000F2F, in bits
     
    Samuel, zombie, Thumbs and 2 others like this.
  16. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
    A370508D-36DB-4A48-B4DF-2EBCD1D1CCEF.jpeg CD7A9BA5-72EC-409F-AD77-0E2F001CA9B1.jpeg
     
    Samuel and Gator like this.
  17. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
    6E83EF74-D8E7-41CB-AA06-768EA06E5A6A.gif
     
    Gator likes this.
  18. Samuel

    Samuel Member

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    853
    Likes Received:
    334
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Los Angeles County
    Map
    lol! reminds me of:



    (but I think scooter guy's reaction was certainly more defensible)
     
  19. 34468 Randy

    34468 Randy Secret Insider

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,412
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Location:
    Chilliwack, BC Canada
    Map
    I say this was staged. A real police officer would have emptied 16 rounds, eject, and reload another clip, delivered 15 more rounds, eject and recharge another clip, and deliver another 15 more rounds. Realizing he is out of amo, he would then holster the empty weapon and draw his throw away and empty that one too.
     
    Samuel likes this.
  20. Thumbs

    Thumbs Member

    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    1,117
    Likes Received:
    810
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Location:
    Bath(ish)
    Map
    0E9B130B-B68E-4E1E-989C-15F1ECE7BC5A.jpeg
     
    duccmann likes this.
Related Topics

Share This Page