Discussion in 'Anything Goes' started by 34468 Randy, Sep 28, 2008.
A 10 year old girl asks her mum, "Mummy. How was I born?"
The mother smiles and replied "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy planted it in the earth and I looked after it every day. After a while, the seed started to grow and sprouted leaves. It grew more and more every day and developed little branches. In a few months it developed into a healthy beautiful plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and we got so high, we forgot to use a condom."
This story is so touching, it brought a tear to my eye.
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
But none of them touches the man's penis and says, "Good job".
Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.
FIVE OTHER SIMPLE TRUTHS:
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
And the women send photos of the basketball belly.
That does not mean we want to see dick pics.
VF1000F2F, in bits
lol! reminds me of:
(but I think scooter guy's reaction was certainly more defensible)
I say this was staged. A real police officer would have emptied 16 rounds, eject, and reload another clip, delivered 15 more rounds, eject and recharge another clip, and deliver another 15 more rounds. Realizing he is out of amo, he would then holster the empty weapon and draw his throw away and empty that one too.
Separate names with a comma.